a life beyond running shoes.

so, i have started a little business. i have not really "come out" yet and persuaded all of my friends to buy from me.... i am slowly trying to figure it out. i found a skin-care company that i really like & have done a bit of research on..... i like their products & their philosophy. so, i had my first party last night. first, my friend that hosted did a rock star job!!! she was a great host & a huge support.... it made my first one very easy. second, the friend that introduced me to the company came along and helped fill-in the gaps of my presentation. it was so much fun.... ladies doing facials, drinking wine, and yummy food....... could this really be called work?!

you should never ask him if he is having trouble getting it up.....even if you are referring to his kite....even if it is in the park on a windy day. he might just respond saying, "no luck at all, but that is rather personal." i think it was david cross from arrested development ....not sure, but it looked & sounded like him.

there is a definite protocol here in the big apple....look but don't touch. around the corner from our house is a patisserie....yummy chocolate croissant - thus the impetus for venture out this morning. in the store was joey slotnick....the guy to the right. he has been seen on nip/tuck , boston public , the single guy , etc. he was getting coffee - very exciting. of course, he is not an a-list star; therefore, it is quite explainable why no one but me was oogliing....but i think that is part of the new york culture. no one bothers jennifer connelly who is said to live in our neighborhood....john has apparently seen her twice, but since i have not....i'm not sure i believe him. i still get a kick out of seeing famous people.... well, at the least ones i know are famous.

micah's feet that is. every once in a while, my husband is brilliant. this was one of those moments. puts the knock-off crocs in the dishwasher.... brilliant. give the boy a bath to get all the park dirt off him and see the ring around the tub... nasty. ah, summer! we all start taking our showers at night. we are close to getting out the window air-conditioning units....very close.

so, this is what i made for the birthday dinner....scallops with hazelnut and browned butter vinaigrette over spring lettuce (from epicurious.com ) for the main dish....starter was a gorgonzola cream fettucine (page 194: essentials of classic italian cooking ). the scallop recipe called for white balsamic vinegar...never heard of it. i went with the regular kind....which changed the flavor just a bit and didn't really go with wine that had been recommended as a pairing. of course, this was all colored by the fact that john did not really like his present.... he was kind & gracious....i was a pill. i let it ruin the whole evening.... even the yummy food. this made me realize (the morning after) that the gift giving had been about me, not him. it was about me trying to find the "perfect" gift, the most thoughtful present....and was totally paralyzed when it did not solicit the reaction and praise that i was seeking. i love being human. i love learning once agai...

there are a couple... 1. we passed assessment... phew! now, we just get to figure what comes next.... this may be harder than assessment. it far less invasive than expected, but still somewhat probing (in the way that they are suppose to be). i felt like i had just been hit by a bus when i woke up saturday morning..... it was intense....but over! 2. i made my first carrot cake and used my husband's grandmother's recipe..... it is his 31st birthday today. 3. i took my first run this morning. argh! it was on the treadmill so i could appease the pain with some VH1. it only slightly helped. i went extremely slow...walking warm-up; walking cool down.... 1.4 miles. my legs rebelled.... they tingled & itched. i realized after walking home in my shorts that i had scratched them all up while i was running - to try and relieve the itching.... i'm sure i was a beauty to behold. but, i got back out there.

it seems i have forgotten to be creative with dinner. it comes from just trying to get through the day and throwing food on the table. i have gotten lazy, busy, crazy, tired, etc. i mean what kind of an excuse is two kids..... huh?! i had another night to myself and so i thought through recipes, planned, and downloaded. it was fun. i found a yummy salmon delight... sweet! grilled on top of barley with peppers, celery, and garlic with a side of salad. i forgot that healthy really can be this tasty. i am reinvigorated and inspired. i will not be lazy again....well, until next week and i am exhausted and just want to serve us all chicken nuggets & applesauce cuz it takes 5 minutes and no thought. in light of being reinvigorated.... we are off to be assessed. we start the whole process of with a marriage counseling session this morning followed by group interviews, team building, stuff, etc. actually, i know very little about our process; i just know that it is going to be lo...

as swimsuit season approaches, i reflect a bit. seems to be theme of posts lately.... it will pass. it was three summers ago - that was the last time i was a consistent size for more than a day. it was a year ago that i found out i was pregnant with baby number 2 and again lost my body. just as i felt i had regained it, it was gone. i'm not feeling negative about this; i am just reflecting on the changes that my body has gone through over the last three years. i also marvel over the changes; the miracle of life; the struggles with weight... which leads to clothes. i don't have any. this, of course, is not really true....and yet it feels very much true. unlike living in other parts of the country, we really do change out seasons. move the previous season down into the basement not to be seen again for five or six months when we change out the season again. it is kind of fun when i seems like getting a new wardrobe that is really yours every couple of months....cheaper than...

first, i hate insomnia.... i sucks! was home alone with sleeping babies last night and opted out of watching my brain-numbing show last night for extra sleep..... no such luck. i laid there for an hour and finally got up because my stomach got the better of me.... peanut butter.... straight from the jar! read for awhile (onto a new brain candy book, in case you are interested). finally went to be around midnight when hubbie came home. was up at 5:45... we all were.... not micah, but the three of us that inhabit the back room were. so, i hit the pool. completely different crowd than the one that i am used to at 8am. but first, i was greeted at the door by our local R&B radio station's crew & fans - they were broadcasting live from the YMCA this morning.... argh. it is too early you people. well, i had a slow swim in the slow lane. took my time.....10 minutes. spot opened up in the middle lane... i move over..... 7 minutes. it was all i could do. my body was feeling th...

it dawned on me this week.... as i preparing to leave the nursing baby for one night.... that i really have about six weeks left until he is six months and i can wean. having had trouble with my milk through micah and seeing similarities with asher (with not quite the same magnitude)..... it is all i can do to finish the six months. all of this leads to multiple thoughts. first, in light of ephron's book and seeing things in light of age & wisdom, i wrestle with how much i struggle with my own weight stuff. is this really that big of a deal? no. i know this, but i tell you truth when i say that is a motivating factor at 7:30 in the morning when i can either get 30 more minutes of sleep or go swim before john has to head of to work. (i do opt for the sleep some mornings... i am only human) part of this comes up because a friend is doing weight watchers and i always think about joining her.... for me and for her. for me to have accountability; for her to have a partner to do i...

and i loved every minute. i kept thinking that i need to send this book to my mom..... but my mom doesn't really read, so i am not sure if it would be a waste of money. i really enjoyed all her vignettes. her love affair with her apartment, her passage through cookbooks & cooking traditions, the things she wishes she had known.... you never know anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five. there's no point in making pie crust from scratch.

so, i gave up hot chocolate (and twizzlers) for lent....well, lent is over and i am off the wagon. it has been a hard weekend at the end of a long & hard week. i have had hot chocolate almost every day this week. it has helped. i thought it better than starting to drink that early in the afternoon all by myself. it starts a bad precedent. i don't feel bad, but i also don't feel like it is jesus with a small "j". it is just something that is helping to sooth my soul for a few minutes (the only few minutes) of quiet i can seem to get. on a fun note, micah has totally transitioned to his toddler car bed... now, if we could just get asher into the crib. that would require him NOT waking up every two hours during the night. baby steps, baby steps, right?! well, here is my yummy recipe (off the nestle toll house cocoa package): [single serving] 2 T granulated sugar 1 T cocoa powder 1 c milk 1/4 t. vanilla extract STIR sugar & cocoa in large, microwave safe mu...

sometimes it feels as if the universe is out to get me. thursday: micah cried for twenty minutes after his nap. i was sitting on the floor in his room with two crying boys. these boys hate me. friday: micah was really, really tough all morning. we had to leave the house so i did not send him to meet his maker. at the park, he was doing the opposite of everything i said. i think he was replaced by a pod-person during the night. micah hates me. friday PM: micah cried for 40 minutes straight. he was inconsolable. he went to bed without dinner because he wouldn't calm down enough to sit down and take a bite.... it was a good dinner too. we felt bad for him.... he was a mess. friday night PM/saturday AM: asher woke up at 11, 2:30, 4:15. at 2:30 & 4:15 he was awake for about half an hour.... not crying just making noise.... i was trying to sleep. that didn't really happen. asher hates me. saturday: my body is against me. i got out of bed, nursed the baby, and hit t...

m: had fun andrew's house... go back? daddy: micah, put crazy back in the bottle. m: i poop in potty...two jelly beans? mommy: yes, you get two jelly beans for pooping in the potty. m: i toot in potty....one jelly bean? m: i go jog w/ daddy.... i put crazy back in bottle. m: i fall off couch. go bonk. i cry. i okay now. m: dear jesus, pray for g'ma & g'pa.... no whine. pray for asher.....stop crying.

i have to admit that coming home to six hundred square feet (give or take 25 feet) has been a bit tougher than i thought it might have been. i think we are over this apartment. we have loved it for a long time... okay, we are a month shy of two years which really isn't all that long, but for us it about as long as we have lived in any apartment since getting married... but gives us a break. when we moved in we had a four month old... now, we still have a four month old plus a two year old. thanks to some folks from the church, flowers brightened up our living room. then, we decided to move the coffee table down to the basement until we move at the end of the summer. that is only four months away since today is the first of may..... include something big almost every month until september 1... and it will fly by i am sure. it has been gorgeous here. we played in the park all day yesterday and today. we got more sun on our faces here in two days then we did in five at the beac...