irrational moments
sometimes it feels as if the universe is out to get me.
thursday: micah cried for twenty minutes after his nap. i was sitting on the floor in his room with two crying boys. these boys hate me.
friday: micah was really, really tough all morning. we had to leave the house so i did not send him to meet his maker. at the park, he was doing the opposite of everything i said. i think he was replaced by a pod-person during the night. micah hates me.
friday PM: micah cried for 40 minutes straight. he was inconsolable. he went to bed without dinner because he wouldn't calm down enough to sit down and take a bite.... it was a good dinner too. we felt bad for him.... he was a mess.
friday night PM/saturday AM: asher woke up at 11, 2:30, 4:15. at 2:30 & 4:15 he was awake for about half an hour.... not crying just making noise.... i was trying to sleep. that didn't really happen. asher hates me.
saturday: my body is against me. i got out of bed, nursed the baby, and hit the YMCA. my body was more than resistant. it flat out hates me. trying to beat it into submission was not working.... my body won. i caved and switched from the elliptical machine to the bike. the tv was not working on the bike.... my consolation of VH1 was totally denied. the Y hates me.
i got home..... to three smiling boys.... my family loves me.
i am loved.... it is sometimes hard to remember just how loved i am when things are going so badly.
thursday: micah cried for twenty minutes after his nap. i was sitting on the floor in his room with two crying boys. these boys hate me.
friday: micah was really, really tough all morning. we had to leave the house so i did not send him to meet his maker. at the park, he was doing the opposite of everything i said. i think he was replaced by a pod-person during the night. micah hates me.
friday PM: micah cried for 40 minutes straight. he was inconsolable. he went to bed without dinner because he wouldn't calm down enough to sit down and take a bite.... it was a good dinner too. we felt bad for him.... he was a mess.
friday night PM/saturday AM: asher woke up at 11, 2:30, 4:15. at 2:30 & 4:15 he was awake for about half an hour.... not crying just making noise.... i was trying to sleep. that didn't really happen. asher hates me.
saturday: my body is against me. i got out of bed, nursed the baby, and hit the YMCA. my body was more than resistant. it flat out hates me. trying to beat it into submission was not working.... my body won. i caved and switched from the elliptical machine to the bike. the tv was not working on the bike.... my consolation of VH1 was totally denied. the Y hates me.
i got home..... to three smiling boys.... my family loves me.
i am loved.... it is sometimes hard to remember just how loved i am when things are going so badly.
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