a life beyond running shoes.

we got to really celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.  sunrise. dinner at sunset. hiking.  shaved ice (aka snow cones) while watching surfing. more sunrises. snorkeling. despite the one day meeting that husband had (like the obligatory timeshare meeting that you have to sit through in order to get to stay there), we had an amazing time!! this was my first time snorkeling and i LOVED it!!! one of my highlights was running on the beach with hubbie.  funny how it takes vacation for us to see this activity as a luxury. it was amazing to finally get some nights away from kids and enjoy just having time together. thank you friends and family that helped make this happen!!! maybe it won't take over six years for us to do it again! and i read two books:   the weird sisters  by eleanor brown   and eddie would go by stuart holmes coleman:  one a novel threading shakespeare quotes through a story about sister all with fata...

okay friends.... i have a had a great group to run with.  i have always had awesome running partners...... but never a full group.  when we are all there (which is seldom), there are eight including me. i will miss this group.  and yes, i might find others to run with in california but none like this.   so i came up with some adjectives (and specific definition that suited) for each since it is such a funny, strange, awesome, random combination of individuals...... i have enjoyed every lap, mile, and conversation. thank you for letting me join your group. you were a balm to my wounded soul...... MS - GRACE (a temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve). it was (is) so nice to rest in your gentle spirit. in you i found a reprieve. CS - HONEST (not false or misleading; genuine). you are refreshing, straightforward, and a faithful companion. in you there is no guile. SS - UNDAUNTED (resolutely courageous). you gospel orient the group with your bo...

family..... we were having dinner with some friends just before we left brooklyn, and the husband was pouring wine into my glass that had just been used at a cocktail glass. his wife tried to get him to get out a clean wine glass..... he said, "why? she is family." sigh. i miss my brooklyn family. i miss my home. i miss my life. we have arrived in florida. and i am thankful. i got to go to a women's bible study on the book of ruth . this is what we were reading: So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. And when they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them. And the women said, “Is this Naomi?” She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi [which means pleasant]; call me Mara [which means bitterness], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the LORD has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” So Naomi returned, and Ruth the...

to sing his praises..... praying words would penetrate my heart.... remind me of truths.... and delight in god's love for me... glorious things of thee are spoken zion, city of our god; he, whose word cannot be broken, formed thee for his own abode on the rock of ages founded what can shake thy sure repose? with salvation's walls surrounded, thou mayst smile at all thy foes. see the streams of living waters, springing from eternal love. well supplies thy sons and daughters, and all fears of want removes. what can faint while such a river ever flows their thirst to quench? grace which like the lord, the giver, never fails from age to age. savior, if of zion's city, i, through grace, a member am, let the world deride or pity, i will glory in thy name fading is the worlding's pleasure, all is boasted pomp and show solid joys and lasting treasures none but zion's children know. -- words by john newton, 1779 amazing to think we still sing words so rich and...

this blogging thing is weird. how public do i get.... should i be..... when do i process....how.... etc. well, as to not emotionally vomit via the internet, i will give the bullet points of our summer: my husband resigned from his position as a church planting pastor due to financial reasons. i started packing. my husband did three weeks of home-improvement projects to get our house ready. we put our house on the market. we left on vacation without daddy..... change of plans due to implosion brooklyn. had a blast in california. changed our summer itinerary and came home by passing time in florida. had our final worship service... in our hone no less for an added sweetness. got an offer on the house....countered, accepted. un-enrolled boys from public school. started paperwork to homeschool. kids got sick. left again on vacation. kids had 10 days of stomach bug. had a awesome time at a lake in tennessee with cousins, family, and gramma. my husband had a skype interview with another chur...

the kidney transplant was a success! surgery started around 10. doc came out to say hubbie was out at 3. doc came out to say kidney took and recipient was done around 4. here are some pics: pre-op: post-op with first walk around icu floor: heubert working:

surgery is in 4 days...... dear huebert, thank you for sharing life with us. we are about to give to you to someone else. it has been a pleasure having you. we hope you love your new home. we are rather fond of your new placement. i am sure he will take good care of you, but if he doesn't.... it is not our call anymore. in fact i believe you will be better appreciated in your new home. it is not that we didn't love you, we just took you for granted. i don't think he will. i think you will be loved and cherished..... have a good life, heubert. we hope you grow and flourish, but mostly, we are praying that you will help our friend. make him strong, make him healthy, make him better. see ya' round..... peace out!

looks like not spending money every six weeks to have your roots done. of course, in a better economic climate this would not be such a big deal..... but alas, we are not in a better economic climate .... and therefore, i am no longer blond.

so i made my own laundry soap. my husband made his own beer. his is more fun....tastes better.....and easier to photograph. my idea came from my mother-in-law. tried my own.... a bit skeptical of my success. (i only have about 5 gallons of it to figure out if it worked) got the recipe here . he got a gift-certificate from my dad. there is actually a place locally that sells all the stuff you need. first batch was started just after new years.... and we have been enjoying the spoils for about a week. i can honestly say..... not bad! second batch is just waiting to be bottled.... guess we got some drinking to do to empty out those bottles!!!

sweet pea is a funny little girl. she amuses herself.... and the rest of us as well. she is a joy and delight and makes each day interesting.... so somewhere between a funk and a slump is the possibility of being a little depressed. that is okay.... i still like my kids, love them and want to eat them up.... i still like my husband, adore and enjoy him to pieces. this too shall pass...... now, if i could just get my running shoes back on.....i'm sure it would do wonders.

funk : (noun) a state of cowardly fright; a severe depression. slump : (noun) an extended time of poor performance; a sudden falling off or decline. not sure which better describes my state of being..... but in an attempt to get out of it, i signed-up for a 5K. well..... truth-be-told, i had mentioned that there was a race that had a kid's race on the same day. peanut, who is actually an elephant, didn't forget and reminded me about it about a week ago. (i think i mentioned it a month ago...seriously) it was a great way to spend the day as a family. driving up west side highway and playing in riverside park. there were hills to run down and dogs to run away from. it was a glorious morning! so.... i would have skipped but i did it for the kids.... and i am so glad i did. my race time wasn't too shabby.... it gives me something to beat (30:30). and peanut LOVED it!!!! notice what place he is in? third... that is right. he got third place. on wednesday he did admitted that he ...

spring is here!!!! (photo from ditmasparkblog.com - photo of the day by nelson) this weekend's 10 mile run - 65 degree weather. spectacular! of course, everyone was out in the park.... i did get a bit testy. this morning it was 50. i get confused how to dress for this. i know thirty and below. i know 60 and above. 50 is just confusing. stef and i had a good, hard, quality run this morning. we did the hill.... that blessed, beloved hill three times. upon finishing the last hill and working our way around the rest of the loop our cloudy morning turned into spring showers. it wasn't a drizzle.... it was raining. like the sky opened up. adventure run - spring style. epiphany: i really do love this sport. there were not that many folks out there this morning.....nor a few weeks ago when temperatures were still hovering the 30s. i have trained and retreated now three times. that would be three babies later, i am still training hard for a race..... i don't have many moments ...

it was more than i could resist. the pampering...... the quietness..... the escape. the undivided attention. it was blissful. my children didn't even come up. friends, books, the city. adult conversation. and the massage. it was too much. the nape of my neck, my temples. i was in heaven. i could have fallen asleep there. i know he'll find out soon enough. i can't hide it forever. it will be written all over my face. the way my hair falls. but does he expect me to be faithful all the time. well, when i say it out loud it makes it sound worse. but it was free.... a gift certificate. who can turn down a free haircut? i mean really!!! shlomy, please forgive me. see in three weeks for color!

we just moved it.... out of the center of our living room. we tucked it upstairs in the multi-purpose room...... office (not really, but used to be), baby room (hopefully not much longer when she joins her brothers in the kid room), guest room, and now entertainment room...... it is an attempt to de-focalized our life from this thing. we'll see.... that couch ain't all that comfy..... but it makes a bed.

so my whole family has been sick. i have been on nurse duty and so my husband (who was up all night himself) watched a movie with the boys for me to escape for a few minutes yesterday. i took sweet pea to run a few errands that are easier with only one kiddo.... post office, dry cleaners, grocery, etc. in the car i have a new cd..... i was struck my one song yesterday. call it exhaustion mixed with sorrow but i was encouraged...... "I know the words of life to come are true But sometimes they feel like salt upon the wound When I’m asking in these moments where are you Where are you? Sometimes it's like Lazarus, You come to roll the stone away And watch him walk back out alive Sometimes its like my good friend Paul, breathless on the interstate Mother weeping at his side Either way it's something I will never understand But I trust enough to take you at your word So I believe though its hard sometimes You are the resurrection and the life" -jill phillips, "re...

there are weather seasons. one reason i love the northeast.... fall. then there are life seasons. up until now in my life it has been hard to know what season of life i am in other than "i have small children" and still don't sleep through the night phase. the "grief is still real" phase. the "starting school" phase. the "my husband is planting a church" phase. which the lines between our life phases and our church phases are blurred..... we are in a new church season. we are moving out of our house and into worship space. it is awesome. baptist church of the redeemer has offered us use of the upstairs portion of their educational building. it has not been used in ten years and it is all ours. two large meeting rooms, lots of classrooms, and a space for a desk and quite sermon prep time. we have had two work days. here is the progress so far: work day 1: work day 2:

so this morning the boys and i hovered around the house until it was time to head out to my doctor's appointment. we got all bundled up with hats, gloves, sweaters, extra shirts. it was 18 degrees outside. we left early because parking by my doctor can be non-existent. we got ourselves loaded in the car that we have been hosting all winter. as we pulled out of our street, we saw our favorite UPS delivery man, carl. i rolled down the driver's side window (the only one of the four that works) to wave hi. of course, we exchange pleasantries of how long till i am due (4 weeks), how are the boys (fine), and see you soon. we turn the corner and i try and roll up the window. it doesn't. all i can do i laugh... i mean really?! i call my husband to see what i should do. without being able to offer any help, he suggests i come by his office to see if he can pull it up somehow since i am limited in my ability to exert any energy or any leverage. he couldn't do it...... what...

we actually got out for dinner last night. it was the first time since july that we planned a date. that is sad. we spent too much, ate too much, but enjoyed ourselves totally. we did the tasting menu..... the conversation went like this: wife: should we do tasting menu - it is six courses? i'm not sure my tummy has room for six husband: no, we don't need to spend that much money wife: true.... but we do need to spend that much time out [the note under the tasting menu said to allow around two hours for dining] husband: true....and since it will be a while till we do this again.... let's try it. wife: why don't you get the wine pairing and i can just take sips. husband: good idea. course 1: crab bisque with butternut squash ravioli and smoke cream fraise course 2: braised octopus salad course 3: homemade pasta with duck confeit and trumpet mushrooms and a sour cherry reduction course 4: pork belly and mushroom with a perfectly seared scallop course 5: salmon with p...

my husband was out of town last week for a few nights. then, we had a crazy weekend...really crazy. think wedding with indian food and zytego music reception ... SO FUN.... pumpkin carving.... preaching (twice)...and jet lag. and none of that was counting the boys. well, we decided to escape to the catskills for a night away as a family. it rained the whole time but two kid movies, some books, and a woodburning stove made it a nice trip. here we are throwing rocks in the creek...the only time we were outside. when we woke on tuesday morning it was snowing. it was actually raining slush but it looked like snow. it was nice not to be plagued with how much laundry and sweeping there was to do from last week's survival mode... and just nice to have family time. AND i wish we had video of the boy's dance party..... at 22 weeks, baby girl is kicking up a storm.

it is a strange phenom to be pregnant all over again. it is not like i crave anything weird... or at least not anything that i didn't like before. for example, i have always loved pickles... i just like them more now. but i don't do the crazy crave pickles and ice cream. no. not me. i am 19 weeks tomorrow. we get to find out gender in a week. i am still throwing up. if past experience tells anything this should have stopped about 7 weeks ago. it has to be a girl... right?! two things that seem to make my stomach and soul happy..... avocados. not sure why. but i love them and have to limit myself to one a day. crazy. root beer floats. husband has willingly been recruited to be the king float maker. we have actually started comparing types of ice creams with types of root beer. so far, we have concluded that boylans root beer and breyers ice cream make a winning combination. YUM.....