a life beyond running shoes.

i am not sure i even know where to begin. i think i am changed. i don't think i can go backwards. i think i am on a journey..... one that god is working and unfolding. i am pretty sure he has been working on these things for more than just this summer, in fact for years, but i think the books i encountered this summer are part of moving us forward and moving us deeper.  hubbie and i have always had this heart but i realized we have been okay just saying that we could not do it "right now."  i repent. i have been lazy. i have had a hard heart.  my heart does not look like jesus. it is not okay.  i have to move toward jesus and toward others.  he is calling me to himself.....  freedom of simplicity . by richard fotster. he takes the other two books from previous post and grounds them. he completely argues that simplicity is a spiritual issue.  it is a spiritual maturity issue.  it something to be cultivated, practiced, exercised.  i k...

hubbie and i actually got to attend a conference a couple of weeks ago thanks to my  mom for coming up and keeping our kids. kevin twit came and spoke on how songs shape our souls . here is his article titled "why we still need hymns." he was awesome. our hymn sing was a sweet balm to my soul. here was one of the nuggets that he shared with us that i have been attached to ever since: Beams of Heaven ©2004 Christopher Miner Music.  Words: Charles Tindley.  Music: Christopher Miner. 1. Beams of heaven as I go,  through the wilderness below,  guide my feet in peaceful ways,  turn my midnights into days.  When in the darkness I would grope,  faith always sees a star of hope, and soon from all life's grief and danger  I  shall be free someday.  I shall be free someday. 2. Often times my sky is clear,  joy abounds without a tear;  though a day so bright begun,  clouds may hide tomorrow's ...

was full..... we had a passover meal and a good friday service. it was delightful. then an easter morning with egg hunts and friends over for lunch. can't complain at all.  strange not to celebrate with our normal brooklyn crew or a house full after service but still quite able to celebrate a risen savior. and a side note, i ran a 5K over the weekend and got my fastest time yet (28:27) for a new PR..... there was even a hill in there. i was actually second in my age group. that is just crazy! 

to sing his praises..... praying words would penetrate my heart.... remind me of truths.... and delight in god's love for me... glorious things of thee are spoken zion, city of our god; he, whose word cannot be broken, formed thee for his own abode on the rock of ages founded what can shake thy sure repose? with salvation's walls surrounded, thou mayst smile at all thy foes. see the streams of living waters, springing from eternal love. well supplies thy sons and daughters, and all fears of want removes. what can faint while such a river ever flows their thirst to quench? grace which like the lord, the giver, never fails from age to age. savior, if of zion's city, i, through grace, a member am, let the world deride or pity, i will glory in thy name fading is the worlding's pleasure, all is boasted pomp and show solid joys and lasting treasures none but zion's children know. -- words by john newton, 1779 amazing to think we still sing words so rich and...

she is cute and sweet and fun. but don't let that fool you. she tantrums. she kicks. she yells. she fights. she whines. she resists. and that is the state of my heart. i am fighting the idea that my plan is no longer god's plan. i had a 20 year plan that included my children graduating from high school in this house. i don't shift gears easily. church was so good for me yesterday. to be called into god's presence. to be ushered into worshiping the king. to repent of my toddler-heart. to proclaim god's goodness that endures forever. it is changing my heart....slowly.

this blogging thing is weird. how public do i get.... should i be..... when do i process....how.... etc. well, as to not emotionally vomit via the internet, i will give the bullet points of our summer: my husband resigned from his position as a church planting pastor due to financial reasons. i started packing. my husband did three weeks of home-improvement projects to get our house ready. we put our house on the market. we left on vacation without daddy..... change of plans due to implosion brooklyn. had a blast in california. changed our summer itinerary and came home by passing time in florida. had our final worship service... in our hone no less for an added sweetness. got an offer on the house....countered, accepted. un-enrolled boys from public school. started paperwork to homeschool. kids got sick. left again on vacation. kids had 10 days of stomach bug. had a awesome time at a lake in tennessee with cousins, family, and gramma. my husband had a skype interview with another chur...

.... well that would be our easter. guess that is what happens when sunday is a work day..... and easter is the biggest work day of the year. i did have to pass off the camera in the midst of the egg hunt and never got a chance for a family photo.... there is always next year. the school we use on sunday mornings let us use the courtyard for our egg hunt. it was awesome! 250 jelly bean filled eggs!

lord, you said, "if you love me, you will obey what i command.' forgive us our lukewarm love and our disobedience. lord, you said, "you may ask for anything in my name." forgive us when we think we need to solve our own problems. lord, you said, "do not let you hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." we confess that our lives are often consumed by worry and anxiety. lord, you said, "if you remain in me and i in you, you will bear much fruit." forgive us our barren lives, lord. lord, you said, "you must testify, for you have been with me." we confess lord, that we have been too often silent. lord, you said, "love each other as i have loved you." in this and so many other ways, we confess our failures and our shortcomings. forgive us, we pray, in your name. amen.

our family and some friends from church did a 5K walk in what we sometimes refer to as our backyard.... prospect park. we brought the bikes, jog stroller, and had good intentions of walking around the park with all the other walkers. our crew lasted about a half mile before tears, tired, complaining. we cut through, saw our friends and then cut back around to meet them at the finish line. it was a spectacular day. we love supporting our park. but we live and learn that taking kids for a 5K bike ride with too many hills was not a wise idea. maybe next year?

we moved out of baptist church of the redeemer and few blocks over to historic erasmus hall high school. they actually have a chapel that we are renting. it seats 800. there are 45 of us. it dwarfs us, but we get to pray for more neighbors..... that we might reflect the neighborhood we are worship in..... that we might know better how to serve our neighbors.... that we might learn how to be good neighbors.... and that we might reflect jesus in it all. it was really cool to be there. there were a few hiccups.... a learning curve.... the load up, the set-up, the tear down, and the transport it back. did i mention it is all in our basement. (by the way, you could pray that we will be amazing & gracious tenants and can get a closet for storage as part of the deal) it was a cool sunday! by saturday we just might be ready to do it all again!

across the barriers that divide race from race: reconcile us, o christ, by your cross. across the barriers that divide rich from poor: reconcile us, o christ, by your cross. across the barriers that divide people of different cultures: reconcile us, o christ, by your cross. across the barriers that divide christians: reconcile us, o christ, by your cross. across the barriers that divide men and women, young and old: reconcile us, o christ, by your cross. confront us, o christ, with the hidden prejudices and fears that deny and betray or prayers. enable us to see the causes of strife, remove from us all senses of superiority. teach us to grow in unity with all god's children. amen. this sunday will be our first sunday in new worship space. historic building in flatbush. very awesome. very awesome, indeed. god is kind and generous...... pray we can move deeper into loving our neighbors.

last night was the kick-off our our fall community group. we had them all over for dinner...... it was also the first day of school. which means it was a bit of a full day..... pulled pork in the crock pot - check. quinoa cooked - check veggies - check drinks - check (people bringing) floors swept - um...nope. counters wiped off - um...nope. salad made - um....nope. we used all but one of our plates and all of our forks..... we finished every bite of food. it was a good reminder that my house does not have to be clean, organized, or put together nor does the food have to be amazing in order to open my doors and say, "come on in." i just hand over the knife and delegate cucumber chopping, wine pouring, and corn shucking. it was a good reminder for me and a good night to start off the fall!

while we did not capture a good easter picture yesterday..... we did celebrate big! we feasted for easter sunday, rejoiced over the resurrection, broke bread with friends, and sang heartily. we also had my mother-in-law to help celebrate the big 5 year old. amazing. how did that happen?! 36 cupcakes after church during the potluck...... does it get any better than that? well, maybe..... he gets to go to chuck e. cheese on friday and skip school!

..... is sew church vestments. but alas, i did. these are temporary until we can get someone to make "real" ones.... but until then, these work for advent (thus the purple). we also made advent wreaths today. it was a great community building time for our congregation and for our host congregation. we made about 30 wreaths between the two churches. great fun! almighty god, give us grace that we may cast away the works of darkness, and put upon us the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your son jesus christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in glorious majesty to judge the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the holy spirit, one god, now and forever. amen . (book of common prayer)

my husband is going through this book with the leadership team at church. because i am not able to go to the meetings, i have been trying to read it along with the group.. i have been trying to tackle a couple of chapters a week and finally finished. the purpose is to present our leadership with a vision to be a neighborhood church that actually reflects the neighborhood we live in.....which is a multi-ethnic neighborhood. it is an excellent read. deymaz is bold. using the church in acts as his example, he would argue that there is a biblical mandate to be multi-ethnic and that we as an american church culture have gotten too comfortable being homogeneous.... that we have allowed the church to be the last place where segregation is acceptable and tolerated. we like to worship with people that worship like us. he argues that the primary purpose of building such churches isn’t racial reconciliation, but rather the reconciliation of men and women with God. he challenges the idea that t...

church in our new space was awesome! check it out..... real pews. our children's church space: toddler/nursery space.....working on baby corral units:

there are weather seasons. one reason i love the northeast.... fall. then there are life seasons. up until now in my life it has been hard to know what season of life i am in other than "i have small children" and still don't sleep through the night phase. the "grief is still real" phase. the "starting school" phase. the "my husband is planting a church" phase. which the lines between our life phases and our church phases are blurred..... we are in a new church season. we are moving out of our house and into worship space. it is awesome. baptist church of the redeemer has offered us use of the upstairs portion of their educational building. it has not been used in ten years and it is all ours. two large meeting rooms, lots of classrooms, and a space for a desk and quite sermon prep time. we have had two work days. here is the progress so far: work day 1: work day 2: