interesting read

halfway to each other: how a year in italy brought our family home.

susan pohlman

quick read.

my favorite kind these days.

she was interesting.

marriage falling apart.

they take a shot at rebuilding by living in tuscany for a year.

two kids.

beach side property.

my cynicism says.... duh, of course you could rebuild in that environment. but what struck me was the way she candidly revealed how they ended up so far from each other:

materialism.

perfectionism.

productivity.

the social life.

the kids.

the activities.

the life style.

the american dream.

it was what allowed them to stop communicating.

i think she is careful not to blame those external things but admits those "things" are what gave them the excuse to stop working toward each other. it allowed their life to become just passing each other in the hallway between drop-off, pick-ups, dinner parties, family, friends, and church. it allowed them to get to the place of thinking "i work harder than he/she does."

it caused me take stock of what i allow to take precedence in my life because it is next on the "to-do" list before my marriage and family. have we stopped talking to each other because all we do it talk to each other about the kids, work, money, the house, family.... and not really enjoy each other's company? helps me to remember that i don't work harder than he does; he does not work harder than me. we both work hard at our jobs. they just look different. it helps me remember that date night (even if it is at home across our own dinner table from each other because we can't get a babysitter) is important. and to not talk about kids, money, or work.

i think there are other things to talk about, right?!