this is a lot to digest....i have to chew slowly.

i am not sure i even know where to begin.
i think i am changed.
i don't think i can go backwards.
i think i am on a journey..... one that god is working and unfolding.
i am pretty sure he has been working on these things for more than just this summer, in fact for years, but i think the books i encountered this summer are part of moving us forward and moving us deeper.  hubbie and i have always had this heart but i realized we have been okay just saying that we could not do it "right now."  i repent. i have been lazy. i have had a hard heart.  my heart does not look like jesus. it is not okay.  i have to move toward jesus and toward others.  he is calling me to himself..... 

freedom of simplicity.
by richard fotster.

he takes the other two books from previous post and grounds them. he completely argues that simplicity is a spiritual issue.  it is a spiritual maturity issue.  it something to be cultivated, practiced, exercised.  i knew while reading the first chapter that i needed to be reading this.

"simplicity is the inward reality that can be seen in an outward lifestyle. we must have both; to neglect either end of the tension is disastrous." 

foster takes you through the old and new testament posture of simplicity. he grounds the outward expression of the inward heart through scripture.

"simplicity means a return to a posture of dependence." 

it is a posture for the community....not just the individual and that generosity begets generosity..... it is the call for justice, compassion, and wholeness. he points us to jesus as our true treasure making materialism nothing less than sin..... our command to identify with the poor, the dangers of wealth, incendiary of fellowship, and our freedom to surrender our rights.  i thought i was just reading a book about how to make life more simple.... well, it was. but the call was to something aligned with jesus's heart and life.... not the life i have. it is all really complex.....and yet, it is really quiet simple.


the hole in our gospel.
by richard stearn.

having talked, prayed, studied some of these things before.....nothing was new. but it was the synthesis of all the information that was amazing to have in one place, one book.  it touched upon some of the things that foster raises about caring for the poor, the widow, the orphan.  i love that part of it is stearn's own story of coming to work for world vision and the process of having his heart changed. it is a lot of statistics.  it would haven been easy to get overwhelmed by the reality of our global crisis.... but yet, my heart was in for the whole of the story. the whole gospel of jesus.

"here is the bottom line: if we are aware of the suffering of our distant neighbors --and we are-- if we have access to these neighbors, either personally or through aid organizations and charities --and we do-- and if we have the ability to make a difference through programs and technologies that work --which is also the case-- then we should no more turn our backs on these neighbors of ours than the priests and the levites walked by the bleeding man [in the parable of the good samaritan found in luke 10:25-37]." 

and there you have it. our call to care for the poor, the widow, and orphaned. i am not sure how to do this. i am not sure how to make this real where i live. i am not sure how to make it more than just head knowledge.

kisses from katie: a story of relentless love and redemption.

katie davis.

i am forever changed. it was the personal story that brought stearn's book home to my heart.

there was not a page that i did not weep through.

she is 22; lives in uganda and serves the poor, the widowed, the sick, the dying, the uneducated.... and her life is full.  

take me.... where you lead jesus. so.... show me, jesus, where i am called and how to love more like you.

"people who want to make a difference in the world usually do it one way or another.... they don't teach grand lessons that suddenly enlighten entire communities; they teach small lessons that bring incremental improvement to one man or one woman, boy or girl.  they don't do anything to call attention to themselves, they simply pay attention to the everyday needs of others, even if it is only one person."

lord, help me love that one person.  davis understood it in such a tangible real way that she had more than enough.... the christ was all she needed and he was totally sufficient....and she did it by loving others in the poorest, dirtiest part of the world.  she had something i am missing.  a compelling love that moves, that sacrifices.... that lives simply in order to love others.

from acts 2:44-45; 4:32-35... "clearly, from god's perspective, those who are blessed with riches are supposed to share with the poor, meaning that those who don't have resources to get what they need can do so, to the point that the poor aren't so poor anymore.  i looked around, though, and these new friends of mine were still destitute. i wonder what the western world was missing and why so many christians didn't seem to be doing what god so obviously wants us to do where the needy are concerned." (page 33)

i believe he was serious when he said to love my neighbor as myself, and i believe he meant this even when my neighbor was not tiny and cute and cuddly. i believe when he said to love my neighbor as myself, he really meant to care for others as i would care for my family or myself, and i would never let my family or myself live in such conditions  (240).

i have learned along my journey that if i really want to follow jesus, i will go to the hard places. being a christ follower means being acquainted with sorrow. we must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate joy. joy cost pain, but the pain is worth it. after all, the murder had to take place before the resurrection (252).

i am convicted.....
again, i am on a journey; my sweet family is on a journey..... we are trying to figure all this out in deeper, richer ways.