transition - no-man's land

transitions pretty much sucks. 

you have one foot in your previous world, yet are trying to put a foot in your new world. 

but nothing feels solid.
it is all shaky, gravely, uneven sand. 

i have felt like we were just on vacation. 

renting a house....oh wait, with our own stuff in it. 

exploring a city...oh wait, this is where we live. 

having summer fun...oh wait, daddy goes to work. 

 

at some point we will go home, right? 

okay, so not all transitions are terrible. 

this one is an awesome opportunity. 

but we are in the middle of this in-between space where we aren't there but we aren't here either because there is no normal yet....no routines, no rhythms, no friends, no classmates, no teams. 

and then today. 

school started. 

we were all nervous. 

the smiling picture of the kids. true. but we might have been wiping away tears as we posed for it. i wanted to capture the ways they are changing year to year. this photo won't really capture what we were feeling. 

you can sort of see the strain on sweet pea's face. 

today was hard. maybe mostly on me. 

lord, please provide them someone to eat lunch with. 

oh my mommy heart breaks just a little when i think of them flying solo. 

ps 139

o lord you have searched me and you know me

you know when i sit and when i rise.

may your truth that is my comfort also be my comfort when i am reminded that you know my babies.... they are known to you. 

i don't know what you have for us here.... but i know you have us.