a life beyond running shoes.

he is gorgeous & australian! he is tlc's take home chef. we saw him as we were getting off the plane wednesday night. he was waiting for his flight..... john even recognized him without me pointing him out.... my family watches cooking shows with me. micah even knows who rachel ray is by sight. is that bad?!

...sleeping alone. my hubbie had a meeting last night and so i had bedtime duty solo. it was going well UNTIL the little one woke back up right about the time the big one was winding down with songs, milk, and some rocking chair time. so.... i rocked both...but it was not the cute snuggle of both my boys since the baby didn't want to stop crying which makes the toddler start pretend crying. very cute. well, i get micah in his crib....he screams for 10 minutes. not miserable.....then get the baby back in bed 20 minutes later. i have 20 minutes to catch the end of ugly betty before grey's comes on..... micah wakes up right as the show begins. i think he really likes the show personally. we watch part of it.... just to get caught up with the drama. since daddy is out, he joins me in bed to try and get him to sleep. i think i was asleep first. he finally was out around 11:15. and it is rainy today and micah has already colored on the wall.

things i learned about traveling..... it is not the plane ride that is so hard; it is the time change. it took the full week for us to get adjusted.... translation: for micah & asher to stop waking up at 5am thinking that it was morning.... just in time for us to come home three days later. also, the beach in april is beautiful but not warm. don't leave your ipod on the plane. you shouldn't leave your dvd in the rental vcr when you check-out. portable dvd players are awesome!!! dogs are great entertainment for two year olds.... both my siblings have one. my sister is a great entertainer.... she kept micah perfectly content during a two hour dinner at a VERY nice california coastal restaurant. malls are not the nicest places for "honorary celebratory" dessert functions. (my mom's award ceremony for teacher of the year) it is really cool when your middle school principal remembers you. it is really good to get home....even when there is mouse poop on the count...

by donald miller I love the subtitle…. nonreligious thoughts on Christian spirituality. it found it really refreshing, authentic, and vulnerable. it is part his journey of relearning how to be a Christian despite growing up one; his journey of learning to love people, the church, himself; his journey to find what it really means to love like jesus loved. it is good to re-think some of the things I THINK I have already figured out. of course, then I would just be thinking I have all of this loving other people figured out and I would not want to scream at the person walking too slow in front of my stroller, my family would not drive me crazy because we hardly talk about real things, my children giving me the opportunity to demonstrate selfless patience would be joy… right, I have all of this figured out. there were lots of quotes that I wanted to underline to post…. because as my friend in o-town describe, “I have a blog voice over.” but of course, I didn’t have my handy dandy pencil...

we made it to California but not without certain casualties along the way…mainly personal. Friday night…. in the midst of making my mental list of things to get accomplished for the following day, I sat to watch tlc’s what not to wear…my new personal addiction. in the course of sitting to veg, I pumped. I sat, situated the attachments, and began the milking process. I love pumping…. not really. I actually hate it. it is the one reason I look forward to weaning. as the process began I could feel the “let down.” for those who are not mom’s I won’t got into any more detail than that…it just isn’t necessary. back to the let down…. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!!! liquid gold was dropping all over my freshly washed jammies (for those who read this, you know what an idol clean clothes is simply due to the complicated manner in which I do laundry). I had completely forgotten to attach the bottle to the nursing attachments. it took a full minute for me to realize it… of course after the “let down”...

my husband is home, phew! everyone was down...asleep....by 8. we had dinner together.... quiet, yummy, nice to catch up. i made butternut squash risotto with blue cheese & rosemary. quite tasty. nightmare at midnight....micah joins us in bed. i always had dreams of snuggling in bed....visions of being hit in the head by a sleeping hand, the tender sounds of a toddler sleeping, the gaze i could sneak in twilight of that angelic face....not as romantic as it had been in my head. it meant no real sleep since there was another body sharing my pillow with me, the sound of a foreign breather, and being hit in the face by a sleeping hand. nursing at 1..... nursing at 3..... everyone was awake at 6:30...... thoughts of actually turning on barney just so i could keep my eyes closed was tempting. i also had thoughts of running over to the ymca for a quick workout.... what am i? crazy?! a few more minutes of the day with my eyes closed - even i was awake - was more tempting. today i need ...

1. easter with 16 friends including 4 toddlers 2. monday's 2 year check-up for micah..... he is perfect. still in the 10% for weight. getting referred to an allergist regarding the milk & cheese thing. the ped doesn't think it is significant, but we'll see. 3. micah going tee-tee in the potty twice on tuesday. 4. john being gone for two nights..... 5. kathy almost losing it on wednesday afternoon when someone was crying for about 3 hours (the boys worked in shifts, so they weren't crying at the same time). 6. the toffee that i finished..... enstroms . i finished the entire pound.... okay, i shared about three bites. 7. losing three pounds despite the consumption of the toffee and getting rid of all my post-maternity pants because they are too big for me....even though i am sad to lose how comfortable they are. 8. having a bad attitude about getting on a six hour plane on sunday with a toddler and an infant both of whom will have probably missed their nap...

we had six two year olds over plus some parents, one grandmother (not our own), and one dad in training over on saturday for some cake & hotdogs. of course, snow flurries in the am greatly deterred the use of backyard space..... significantly changing the craziness of it all. it was wild particularly because one two year old in particular was so excited about his party that a nap was completely out of the question..... big lesson for mom: don't tell him about the party before the nap..... we almost stopped celebrating his birthday and turned it into his wake....he was really whiny & obstinate.... especially when he saw the cake and he couldn't eat it RIGHT NOW!!! we are really loved.... a dear friend decorated this cake for us. she loves me and love my kid! dsb, you rock!

i can hardly believe how cute i think my kids are. i was so excited about these outfits. i love the greens & blues on them.... not matchy-matchy, but coordinated. here is an absolutely beautiful pic of the youngest.....

i made a non-kid birthday cake - italian cream cake with cream cheese frosting...from scratch (my first attempt). it was good but not fluffy enough. i over mixed the egg whites. still yummy! yesterday, he was my pride & joy.....today, i want to ship him to reform school.

is two today. how did that happen? i know that i have two children but how did i get to have a two year old. there is no baby in him! he knows his colors, can recognize the letter "m" for micah & "d" for daddy, can count to 2.....what happened?! i have been thinking about his for about two weeks now. two years ago today, i became a mom. i mean i was in the process for nine months, true. but in one day, my life was no longer my own....the reality of my time no longer being own, my body had long ceased to be my own..... it all changed. what a delight though to hold that baby.....but have i gotten any better at this?! of course, i am not as nervous, neurotic, worried because i know they don't break, scraps mend, bruises heal.....it is the other stuff that i think i am still worry about. his heart: do i cuddle him enough? do i scold him enough? is there enough freedom? are there enough boundaries? are we outside enough? do i introduce him to books e...

i find it interesting....... .......how the two boys are in sync already. apparently we had not weathered the worst of operation big boy-no paci....he cried for almost an hour. what we thought would be an early bedtime was not....then asher (who was supposed to sleep until 2) woke up at midnight only to be followed by big brother 10 minutes later "scared." .......how 20 & 30 years olds (including myself) walk around the locker room delicately covered up by the towel that is slightly too small to cover my rumpus..... and yet the 50 & 60 years old strut around with no shame. nora ephron claims that the things that we things we hate about out bodies in our 20s will be the things we long for in our 50s. funny how that works...maybe i'll lose my abandon and sit in the sauna naked as a jaybird..... naw!!! .......how fun sitting on the kitchen counter while daddy cooks is for a two year old. .......how much i want to cut my hair. .......how excited i am to have gott...

1. i forgot to mention....the book. i bought it for john for his birthday in may last year. he returned it. it made a "top books of the year" list, so i bought it for him for xmas - i thought it would be funny - and still insisted that it sounded like an interesting read. i am the only one who has read it.... 2. we have made it through the toughest part without the paci.... and we survived. there are still more tears at nap time than normal, but it is getting better. i think we might have made it! 3. palm sunday.....rejoice, rejoice. our palm procession.....he really liked those palm frons .

....i blog. one cries because he needs the comfort of the missing paci - the other has only slept 35 minutes and refuses the paci..... one cries out for daddy; the other cries for something only i can give. oh bother! i marvel at my own capacity to find the mediocre absolutely delightful. i think this book was interesting but only decently written. it was certainly an interesting topic - the circus with all of its freaks, performers, clowns, and animals. it is the tale of an convalescent man who flashes back to his life on the road. i liked it....but can admit it was slightly above mediocre...meaning, i finished it in a couple of day but was not bound to tell my friend at the playground that she be compelled to run out and buy it & begin consuming within the hour. it would have been a perfect july-sit-on-the-beach type read. i didn't waste my time, but i will probably leave it out on the stoop for someone else to pick up and read for free.

it is day two of no pacifier.....it was lost. really!!! i looked in all the normal places and then decided not to look too much harder. the trick will be to look hard & find it & throw it away. we have made it through nap time twice and bedtime once. because it really is "bye-bye," i think it has made it easier for all of us. of course, the crying is much harder & the pleas for daddy much more passionate these days when left in his crib....but we are making it. i know that by saturday (hopefully) it will be a thing of the past. not too shabby. but i also know that for him part of his universe just shifted again - not too long after baby brother shifted it the first time. but he is a trooper. so much so that when we went to have his blood drawn on monday, he didn't cry until the nurse had to poke him a second time because she lost the vein. he really is a trooper.

well, not actually. i paid for them. i had a meeting scheduled for yesterday, so i got a babysitter. when it looked like our schedules were not going to work out, i decided to keep the babysitter..... and get a pedicure. i had 80 minutes all to myself. i read a book while my feet were massaged & painted....then i enjoyed a cup of coffee while sitting outside in the 60 degree sunshine and just sat....it was quiet & i even prayed a little. even though i get quiet moments during nap times, it just isn't the same as skipping away on my own for a few minutes of solitude....shared with the other 4 million people in new york.

read this over the weekend. literally took me two 45 minute sessions. delightful, interesting, challenging, and real. i have come to really enjoy laura winner as an author but also as a contemporary voice of faith. i loved her conversion story in girl meets god and found her journey of faith in real sex to be one of the most authentic voices i have read. in this chronicle of her journey, she discusses the traditions & practices of her jewish faith that she misses in her new christian life. she explains 11 of them..... here are some that i found beautiful & poetic if not challenging to try and incorporate in my own spirituality. shabbat/sabbath ....as a christian i fail to really have a sabbath. i fail to really "set [it] apart" failing to live it distinctly from the rest of my week, to really rest....but to rest & delight in the lord....not in myself. kashrut/fitting food .....she does not miss kosher for the sake of kosher but for the intentionality that ...

from church yesterday..... to christ the lord let every tongue, its noblest tribute bring when he's the subject of the song, who can refuse to sing? survey the beauties of his face, and on his glories dwell think of the wonder of his grace, and all his triumphs tell. to him i owe my life and breath, and all the joys i have he makes me triumph over death, and saves me from the grave to heav'n the place of his abode, he brings my weary feet shows me the glories of my god, and makes my joy complete. since from his bounty i receive, such proofs of love divine had i a thousand hearts to give, lord they should all be thine a thousand men could not compose, a worthy song to bring yet your love is a melody, our hearts can't help but sing. all i can say is "wow." god is growing my faith.... he is stretching my trust..... he is proving himself over and over and over. as a friend of mine just reminded me... god is not my father (of the earthly sort).... he is faithful, consi...

three month old on the block.... i love my green hat. i giggle now and have found my hands. here is what my big brother looked like at three months. we dont' look exactly alike any more... but we look like brothers. ps. i am chubbier :)

1. the new restaurant next to the thai restaurant from the other night is a peruvian establishment....boasting of seven spiced chicken. all of this next to the turkish restaurant & the japanese place across the street. 2. the melting snow accumulates at the corners so that my pants that are too long (because i bought regular length but am in fact smack in between petite & regular so that neither fit perfectly) get sopping wet as i walk the 25 minutes to target. 3. as we walk to target we walk past film crews setting up to film a pilot for fox. i looked it up on www.imdb.com and found out that it is starring julianna marguilies. pilot is titled " canterbury's law ." 4. my israeli hairdresser invited us over for shabbat dinner with his jewish ukrainian wife and served all middle-easten kosher food. 5. you meet really cool people that do really cool things. our dinner company writes for the wall street journal and had a front page article today in the weekend secti...