small realizations
it dawned on me this week.... as i preparing to leave the nursing baby for one night.... that i really have about six weeks left until he is six months and i can wean. having had trouble with my milk through micah and seeing similarities with asher (with not quite the same magnitude)..... it is all i can do to finish the six months.
all of this leads to multiple thoughts.
first, in light of ephron's book and seeing things in light of age & wisdom, i wrestle with how much i struggle with my own weight stuff. is this really that big of a deal? no. i know this, but i tell you truth when i say that is a motivating factor at 7:30 in the morning when i can either get 30 more minutes of sleep or go swim before john has to head of to work. (i do opt for the sleep some mornings... i am only human)
part of this comes up because a friend is doing weight watchers and i always think about joining her.... for me and for her. for me to have accountability; for her to have a partner to do it with....
do i really need that much structure? yes & no.
which leads to another thought about weaning..... running. i lose my excuse for not. i long to, i am itching to, i am scared to. what if i can't get it back? i know, i know. i am being insecure. but it is a real thought that passes through my head.... especially after the debacle that was the elliptical machine last week. it will take time.... i need to be patient with my head & my body.
i had a good swim yesterday. short - i've lost some time due to vacation & transitioning back from vacation & laziness & tiredness...... but it was a good swim. 15 minutes. strong, hard, invigorating.
enough babbling.... i'm getting there....slowly, but surely and not without a few twizzlers along the way.
all of this leads to multiple thoughts.
first, in light of ephron's book and seeing things in light of age & wisdom, i wrestle with how much i struggle with my own weight stuff. is this really that big of a deal? no. i know this, but i tell you truth when i say that is a motivating factor at 7:30 in the morning when i can either get 30 more minutes of sleep or go swim before john has to head of to work. (i do opt for the sleep some mornings... i am only human)
part of this comes up because a friend is doing weight watchers and i always think about joining her.... for me and for her. for me to have accountability; for her to have a partner to do it with....
do i really need that much structure? yes & no.
which leads to another thought about weaning..... running. i lose my excuse for not. i long to, i am itching to, i am scared to. what if i can't get it back? i know, i know. i am being insecure. but it is a real thought that passes through my head.... especially after the debacle that was the elliptical machine last week. it will take time.... i need to be patient with my head & my body.
i had a good swim yesterday. short - i've lost some time due to vacation & transitioning back from vacation & laziness & tiredness...... but it was a good swim. 15 minutes. strong, hard, invigorating.
enough babbling.... i'm getting there....slowly, but surely and not without a few twizzlers along the way.
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