a life beyond running shoes.

....i blog. one cries because he needs the comfort of the missing paci - the other has only slept 35 minutes and refuses the paci..... one cries out for daddy; the other cries for something only i can give. oh bother! i marvel at my own capacity to find the mediocre absolutely delightful. i think this book was interesting but only decently written. it was certainly an interesting topic - the circus with all of its freaks, performers, clowns, and animals. it is the tale of an convalescent man who flashes back to his life on the road. i liked it....but can admit it was slightly above mediocre...meaning, i finished it in a couple of day but was not bound to tell my friend at the playground that she be compelled to run out and buy it & begin consuming within the hour. it would have been a perfect july-sit-on-the-beach type read. i didn't waste my time, but i will probably leave it out on the stoop for someone else to pick up and read for free.

it is day two of no pacifier.....it was lost. really!!! i looked in all the normal places and then decided not to look too much harder. the trick will be to look hard & find it & throw it away. we have made it through nap time twice and bedtime once. because it really is "bye-bye," i think it has made it easier for all of us. of course, the crying is much harder & the pleas for daddy much more passionate these days when left in his crib....but we are making it. i know that by saturday (hopefully) it will be a thing of the past. not too shabby. but i also know that for him part of his universe just shifted again - not too long after baby brother shifted it the first time. but he is a trooper. so much so that when we went to have his blood drawn on monday, he didn't cry until the nurse had to poke him a second time because she lost the vein. he really is a trooper.

well, not actually. i paid for them. i had a meeting scheduled for yesterday, so i got a babysitter. when it looked like our schedules were not going to work out, i decided to keep the babysitter..... and get a pedicure. i had 80 minutes all to myself. i read a book while my feet were massaged & painted....then i enjoyed a cup of coffee while sitting outside in the 60 degree sunshine and just sat....it was quiet & i even prayed a little. even though i get quiet moments during nap times, it just isn't the same as skipping away on my own for a few minutes of solitude....shared with the other 4 million people in new york.

read this over the weekend. literally took me two 45 minute sessions. delightful, interesting, challenging, and real. i have come to really enjoy laura winner as an author but also as a contemporary voice of faith. i loved her conversion story in girl meets god and found her journey of faith in real sex to be one of the most authentic voices i have read. in this chronicle of her journey, she discusses the traditions & practices of her jewish faith that she misses in her new christian life. she explains 11 of them..... here are some that i found beautiful & poetic if not challenging to try and incorporate in my own spirituality. shabbat/sabbath ....as a christian i fail to really have a sabbath. i fail to really "set [it] apart" failing to live it distinctly from the rest of my week, to really rest....but to rest & delight in the lord....not in myself. kashrut/fitting food .....she does not miss kosher for the sake of kosher but for the intentionality that ...

from church yesterday..... to christ the lord let every tongue, its noblest tribute bring when he's the subject of the song, who can refuse to sing? survey the beauties of his face, and on his glories dwell think of the wonder of his grace, and all his triumphs tell. to him i owe my life and breath, and all the joys i have he makes me triumph over death, and saves me from the grave to heav'n the place of his abode, he brings my weary feet shows me the glories of my god, and makes my joy complete. since from his bounty i receive, such proofs of love divine had i a thousand hearts to give, lord they should all be thine a thousand men could not compose, a worthy song to bring yet your love is a melody, our hearts can't help but sing. all i can say is "wow." god is growing my faith.... he is stretching my trust..... he is proving himself over and over and over. as a friend of mine just reminded me... god is not my father (of the earthly sort).... he is faithful, consi...

three month old on the block.... i love my green hat. i giggle now and have found my hands. here is what my big brother looked like at three months. we dont' look exactly alike any more... but we look like brothers. ps. i am chubbier :)

1. the new restaurant next to the thai restaurant from the other night is a peruvian establishment....boasting of seven spiced chicken. all of this next to the turkish restaurant & the japanese place across the street. 2. the melting snow accumulates at the corners so that my pants that are too long (because i bought regular length but am in fact smack in between petite & regular so that neither fit perfectly) get sopping wet as i walk the 25 minutes to target. 3. as we walk to target we walk past film crews setting up to film a pilot for fox. i looked it up on www.imdb.com and found out that it is starring julianna marguilies. pilot is titled " canterbury's law ." 4. my israeli hairdresser invited us over for shabbat dinner with his jewish ukrainian wife and served all middle-easten kosher food. 5. you meet really cool people that do really cool things. our dinner company writes for the wall street journal and had a front page article today in the weekend secti...

first reason: yesterday my toddler was in short sleeves shoveling the snow that had not melt from the 4 inches we got 5 days earlier. it was 67 degrees. it was still chilly in the morning but by post-nap time filler....we shoveled in the sunshine. i wish i had thought to take a picture. second reason: doing laundry across the street - it just as close to my house as some of my friends backyards are to their laundry room. i bet i could use a baby monitor, but instead i just go fast. i did my sheets and all my towels. third reason: my toddler ate spring rolls, fried calamari, and pad thai for dinner. ps. asher is three months old this week. that went fast. he also peed on my fresh, newly washed sheets. that'll teach me to be lazy after nursing at 6am and leaving him in bed with me and not putting him back in his bassinet. bummer!

......because of something called restaurant week. local restaurant's have a price fix menu for ten days. $21.15 for a three course meal. had it not been for some other friends we would have missed it entirely, for the third year in a row. thankfully, we got to participate and hit one of our favorite places - applewood. it is one of our a special occassion place that prepares the food with mostly organic & local ingredients. the couple that owns & operates it lives here in the neighborhood and have been known to put their kids to bed in the back room where they set-up a pack-n-play for such purposes. anyway, the food was fabulous & the company was delightful - no kids makes for much for fluid interaction. i like to judge the quality of a restaurant by something as simple as their green salad & vinaigrette. this one was tangy..... then i had the mushroom risotto. creamy & delicious. so good. my partner in crime had the duck breast which melted in your...

i know that most people struggle in some fashion with being a people pleaser. i also know that i may struggle with it more that most. i know what you are thinking.... you?! yes, me. i disguise it rather well....or at least i think i do. i have always feared the face of disappointment from others, be it parents, friends, spouse, or employer. i was/am a rule follower.... that being said, i also try to find the edges of those rules and live there. well, a group of ladies and i decided to read this book and get together for discussion about it. we have been working through it since november....with a break in there for baby. there were times when i thought welch was getting a bit too psychological and then there were times when i didn't think he was psychological enough. of course, all of this is to be taken with a grain of salt since the man was attempting to smash my people idols. if there were to be a thesis for this book it would be two fold: first, god must be bigger to ...

apparently we have become cultured in the viewing of a modern indie film noir on sunday night. i had to ask exactly what that meant which might indicate that i am in fact not cultured in the least. film noir: a motion picture with an often grim urban setting, photographed in somber tones and permeated by a feeling of disillusionment, pessimism, and despair. titled brick . starring the kid from third rock (many moons ago - ha, ha, ha). it was very intriguing and we both really enjoyed it. i was not so optimistic considering i was in the mood for a few episodes of scrubs . it was a grim movie that took place in a high school with bogart-esque dialogue and crime scene intrigue - think china town meets a literal brat pack of teenage actors. i did miss some of the script because they talk so pickin' fast....but overall, not a bad pick for a movie night. and it had some really cool filming. a good recommendation from the sweet household.

parenting magazine ...... from the devil. not really, but i should have trusted my instincts. this photo from one of their indoor activity ideas - non-tv related......play with rice & cups. perfect for your toddler......unless you are my toddler and you love the idea of "dump it out?!" bad idea, mom! i am destined to find brown rice in the dark recesses of my house for nothing short of eternity. so much for genius snow day activities. next time - veggie tales!!!!

19 degrees this morning.....frozen rain - not snow.... it was pelting my face. why am i venturing out in the mess? because staying inside with a toddler after two glorious days at the playground sounded miserable.... i think i made the wrong decision. being trapped inside caused for creative eating games that apparently dad taught him - spreading yogurt on toast. good idea or bad idea..... mom thinks it is a bad idea. it is still snowing. we are supposed to get 4 inches today. i guess we'll be inside for the next day or so.....that is why we went outside. spring......is it really coming? was it really here 24 hours ago? is my oldest almost two? life moves quick..... i sometimes forget to pause and enjoy the sounds of micah's laughter in the other room. what a delight....so precious.

i always dread loosing that hour....but i love the longer daylight....it is the hint of the new york summer evening that i love. it really didn't hurt that the past two days have been stunningly beautiful. march is such a schizophrenic month. we had the coldest day two weeks ago (11 degrees without the wind) and then today peaked at 68 degrees with sunny skies. while the YMCA has been our means of survival for winter days, we have headed straight for the park the last couple of mornings. this weekend is supposed to be back in the 40s, but until then i am enjoying the 10 minutes it saves me getting out the door (no winter survival gear). of course, it has been known to snow in april.....no spring clothes yet. we inaugurating the potential of spring by waiting for daddy on the stoop this evening. the enduring of winter makes me love the commencement of spring more than i did when i lived in other parts of the country that don't really have seasons. it is revitalizing.....sp...

well, the cat is out of the bag. the pigeon flew the coop. the dog is getting his day. what other cliches can i recall...... the family is moving..... (stef don't freak out) that is right, we are leaving park slope. destination: the other side of the park . of course, this is why we came to park slope in the first place, but it has all of a sudden become real. in a matter of days, it moved from theoretical; conversations between my husband and i over dinner & wine.....to a probable moving date: summer. we are leaving the safety net..... and venturing out on our own. not actually, but at moments it can feel that way. john sent out our prayer update over the weekend stating such plans.....move summer 2007; possible church plant sometime in 2008. aren't we mere pups?! are we really ready for this....of course not. but it is exciting to think about being in a neighborhood for more than a few years, an apartment for more than one year, and making friends of neighbors that...

this is how i know i am a mom...... a. a private moment means a shower while one kid is eating peanut butter toast, the other is in a bouncy seat while the bathroom door is open. b. a good night sleep means no throw-ups, no accidents, and only waking up once. c. my body type now includes the "muffin-top" (that roll around your waist that hangs out over your pants) d. in public i manage comments like, "mommy pooped?" e. romantic means a glass of wine that i did not have to claim was "mommy's apple juice" to someone two feet tall f. i look at the land's end catalog and realize that i now think some of those clothes are cute.

for those of you that actually read my blog, you may have picked up on the fact that i really like blogging. it is therapy, connectedness, and silly. not only do i like my own blog - because i make myself laugh - but i enjoy others as well. of course, i have my favorites that i check everyday and a few that i check every so often. in last months runner's world, i found yet another blog that i checked for the first time today..... mile markers . it is kristin armstrong's blog. she has become a contributor for runner's world and interviewed lance after the new york marathon. i find her extremely refreshing and likable....i really admired her interview with oprah....not that i would ever confess to watching oprah like a normal, typical "works without wages" stay-at-home mom....or anything. but anyway..... in the march runner's world her article entitled "s peed queens " was refreshing & reminded me of what i love about running. she says, ...

is there anyway to guarantee that my children will be readers? of course not, but i we encourage books, read every night, and sit around reading ourselves. we can only demonstrate and encourage it so much.....but i feel as if i had a break through. i know it is normal toddler stuff but i am going to let myself believe it means more than that. one of the books we read almost every night is go, dog go. a classic i know. as micah has been getting more familiar with it, there are things he will say for each page. one of the favorite pages is where the dogs head "to the trees, to the trees." on our way to storytime on friday, i asked micah where we were going....expecting the trained "storytime w/ joy." what i got warmed my heart. he said, "to the tree, to the trees." i laughed out loud. oh, i also learned something else: did you know that chocolate fountains are not good for weight loss? i gained two pounds......the journey continues.

asher was baptized yesterday at church... an important day for our family - when we acknowledge that asher is uniquely part of god's covenant. micah was very intrigued by the water on asher's head. so much so that he want "more water asher" after it was over thinking he needed to get wet again very loudly proclaimed during matt's prayer. asher barely let out a peep. it was also special because my sister got to be there. she was in DC for a conference and took the train up here for 24 hours. it was a treat and i had extra help with the baking...... we had a small gathering after church to celebrate the baptism. our small party in our small apartment yielding 16 kids under that age of 10.......a few adults for a grand total of 60 people coming through our apartment from 3 - 7 yesterday afternoon plus one very special doggie (thanks for coming roxy). wow! john and i were humbled that we were graced with that many beloved friend..... and we had a chocolate f...

so i finished my next book club book last night....it was a great read. it was interesting historically and compelling entertainment wise. i really enjoyed it. i know others were struggling with the parallel stories in terms of the serial killer storyline, but i thought it was vague enough in detail to not freak me out too much. we meet next friday night to discuss, so i am sure that i will post again about this book. what facinated me the most was hearing about the architects & plans for chicago. the book is about the chicago world fair in 1893. there are two story line going. the first of the building of the "white city" and all that went into it construction. it dealt with olmstead & his landscape ideas, the architects, politics, and "freak show" aspects of pulling off this monumental event. the second story line was about h.h. holmes - the entrepreneur that perhaps killed over twenty people during the fair. i was surprised that i did not have ni...