a life beyond running shoes.

that losing weight is hard? i know.... duh. i guess baby #3 is reminding me that it doesn't just happen. it seemed to just happen after the other two. or at least a little bit easier. so.... i have called in for back-up. that famous "meeting" group.... that i am doing on-line (how could i get to a meeting once a week?) ...... the good 'ole WW. i love it. a friend gave me a cookbook and i tried the chicken & chickpea chili. YUM!!! (i couldn't even taste the three bell peppers) AND my family ate it. i have also discovered a zero point soup..... basically vegetable soup.... and i add barley and use olive oil.... so make that a 2 point soup but again....YUM! (another friend recommendation) there is a whole WW sub-culture. people who have done.... are doing it...... love it. i have to admit that signing up was a huge ego thing. to admit that i could not do it on my own. but i am so capable, smart, we eat healthy.... and i have done this before. but i wasn't h...

home cooking . i am not sure. i'm glad i read it. i found her to be interesting. i loved reading her recipes. i liked how she was not exact: heat the meat. add salt. saute until browned. i won't keep it although perhaps if i did i might use it. book of vignettes about cooking. some funny things. loved the chapter about being alone in the kitchen with an eggplant. but her writing is not captivating. but then again, perhaps it didn't need to be. she is not father capon (my favorite book of 2009) but she does refer to him which made her far more endearing and credible. read if you choose.... you won't be wasting your time.

he is his own person. fully. completely. one thing about him is his love for all things sports. that would include the clothing. he fights with me every morning to wear basketball shorts. even if it is 19 degrees outside. we compromise. he wears shorts inside and changes when we have to leave the house. of course, he changes into some version of sweats or athletic pants. (translation: he needs sport clothes. when he grows he needs big boy sport clothes and right now he is wearing little sport clothes. also, he was singing "leaning on the everlasting arms" from church this past week.) he also love music. here is his own version of language with a little "unto the lord" thrown in there. (he is a pastor's kid and all) he does create his own words and sentences. funny boy!

i have not put out my list for this year. many of these were on my list for last year that i didn't get to. some i started and just didn't get to finish. here goes: unsettling of america - wendell berry closing the food gap - mark winne food matters - mark bitman come to the table - katrina heron little women - louisa may alcott tale of two cities - charles dickens day after night - anita diamant sophie's choice - william styron unaccustomed earth - jhumpa lahiri (finish) little house on prairie - laura wilder the help - kathryn stockett a quest for more - paul tripp authentic parenting in a postmodern culture - mary demuth big truths for young hearts - bruce a ware teach them diligently - louis paul priolo grace based parenting - tim kimmel men & women in the church - sarah sumner orthodoxy - gk chesterton

.....but i did. catching fire . book 2. sequel to hunger games (that i read over christmas) a friend gave me her copy on wednesday night. i so kindly decided to let my husband read it first. i got an email the next morning that my copy was available at the library. i went and got it. the idea that i did NOT have to wait for him to finish..... i could not contain myself. again..... devoured the book. now my patience will be tried as the third and final chapter of her trilogy does not come out until this summer. i think i can wait.... not really, but i don't have a choice. read this! young adult fiction can be so fun.... fast.... engaging.... interesting..... captivating.... and quick. what an interesting story. did you read "the lottery" in college? short story. has that feel to it. can't recommend it enough.

girl with the dragon tatoo . crime, murder, "who dunnit?" it was a fast read. gripped me. read it in a week. original swedish title: men who hate women. i would not have read it under that title. plan on reading the second book of the trilogy this summer. what was nice is that the book does not lend itself to much discussion, so the ladies and i mostly just hung out. this month marks five years for this group and it was pretty much the original crowd. we have added people here and there. some stick (and just couldn't make it last night); some don't. people cycle in and people cycle out - have babies, grad school, move, life..... it was nice to be the only one with small children. we talked about faith, church, dating, careers, exercise, weight loss, cancer, retiring, marriage, children, and how delicious the cheese was. it was great to not have to talk about the book. next month.

not me.... (although, i am trying for that - wink, wink) the food i ate last night. friend won a raffle for a wine night at a vegetarian restaurant. she couldn't go. i got to. DELICIOUS! here was the menu: parsley root puree with truffled chestnuts warmed beluga lentils with artichokes on butter lettuce with sherry vinaigrette winter bean cassoulet with winter greens and roasted heirloom garlic warm chocolate cake with parsnip and toasted hazelnut ice-cream the menu was built to highlight local, organic wine. it used all local ingredients. it was so tasty. i only got a photo of one of the courses (the beluga lentils with butter lettuce).

peanut got in the car on friday from school and informed me that didn't have school on monday. here was our conversation: ME: that is right. you have three days of no school.... saturday, sunday, monday. do you know why? P: yes, it is dr. king's birthday. ME: oh. yes, that is right. did you talk about who he was? P: yes. he was an important man who said that it was wrong for dark people and light people to have to use different bathrooms. ME: that is right. he was very important. that is why we celebrate his birthday. (at breakfast the next morning) P: hey brother, do you know whose birthday it is on monday? LB: mine? P: no...... LB: yours? P: no...... LB: baby sister's? P: no...... not in our fam-i-ly! LB: i don't know. P: dr. king. you know him. (i interject and remind him that he just learned this in school and his brother does not know who dr. king was) P: oh.... let me tell you who he was. (he then repeats his explanation to his brother). (i love my tax pay...

some more words from wolterstorff: "i remember delighting in them -- trees, art, house, music, pink morning sky, work well done, flowers, books. i still delight in them. i'm still grateful. but the zest is gone. the passion is cooled, the striving quieted, the longing stilled. my attachment loosened. no longer do i set my heart on them. they don't matter. instead of rowing, i float. the joy that comes my way i savor. but the seeking, the clutching, the aiming, is gone. i don't suppose anyone on the outside notices. i go through all my paces. what the world gives, i still accept. but what it promised, i no longer reach for. i've become an alien in the world, shyling toucing it as if it's not mine. i don't belong anymore. when someone loved leaves home, home become mere house. "that shared grief isolates the sharers from each other. though united in what we are grieving, we grieve differenlty. as each death has its own character, so too each gr...

i am reading this. i don't usually post until i have finished but i am struck. my husband passed it along to his whole family. he passed it along to me. it is powerful. it is beautiful and poetic. here some words: the wound is no longer raw. but it has not disappeared. that is as it should be. if he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over. grief is existential testimony to the worth of the one loved. that worth abides. so i own my grief. i do not try to put it behind me, to get over it, to forget it. i do not try to dis -own it.... that loss determines my identity; not all of my identity, but much of it. it belongs within my story. i struggle indeed to go beyond merely owning my grief toward owning it redemptively . but i will not and cannot disown it. i shall remember eric. lament is part of life.

i sign-up for the race i have started training for. it is a pretty cool thing. i will let you know when i get my fundraising website up and running. it is half-marathon (13.1 miles) here in NYC that benefits the work of world vision in africa. i have been a runner (catch that - i am a runner) for seven years (with three significant breaks in there....named peanut, little bit, and sweet pea). i have run one full marathon, three halfs and other 5Ks in there. this is the first time i have been aware of that a christian organization if the main recipient of the fundraising. i think that is pretty cool. stef and i did our tempo run this morning. it is amazing how much 34 degrees feels different than 24 which is what we have been running in all week. i prefer 34. and there are a lot more people out. it is fun to realize that in the fours years we have been running together that we have gotten faster! so cool. i also made double chocolate-fudge cookies this week. they are not helping my...

yesterday...... of course there were hiccups along the way but that is to be expect with three children 4 and under....like sweet pea crying for the duration of her first nap.... (and granted i was not the one that woke up on the couch with the newly three-year-old as my sleeping partner) but i had an almost perfect day. breakfast as a family. boys & sweet pea had waffles. daddy made me his newly mastered scrabbled eggs ( tip my hat to mark bittman's 30 minute eggs). took little bit and sweet pea to library. peanut had an ice skating date with daddy. daddy dropped off peanut for school. passed off little bit for him to have pizza date with daddy. home with sweet pea for lunch & nap. while she slept, i finished a book, organized kid area, put away christmas decorations, finally finished clearing out the corner near my desk (two-month undertaking), pulled out baby girl clothes to send friend, had a cup of tea. nap time ended with not a happy baby. but....boys a...

epiphany was on wednesday. it actually marks the end of the christmas season for the church calendar. here was one of the prayers from church this past week: o god, in the beginning you spoke, and creation was born, the object of your loving care. in the fullness of time you spoke, and the word became flesh, jesus, your gift of love. we wonder at the miracle of creation; we stand in awe before the beauty of the incarnation. forgive us earthbound people, feeble in faith, empty of hope, lacking in love. this year let the miracle and mystery of christmas happen for us again. we wait upon you with ready heart, o god, through jesus christ, our lord, amen. what do i want god to do this year? what do i hope for? what promises of god's am i waiting for him to accomplish? what do i want him to move in me? how do i want him to move me forward? here we go twenty-ten!

we had a great christmas. we got to see both of our mothers and all of our siblings except for one of my husband's brothers. it was a treat, really. of course we did do the 20 hour drive twice to accomplish all this fun, but it was worth it. g'ma had her own sewing project. dresses for all her granddaughters. sweet pea does not like the bows. mimi and her grandbabies: my siblings: the first time we have been together in over two years. we are all goofs! these are the bags i made for my gifts: (9 in total - year 4 of the hand-made gift). this was the favorite gift: the electronic drum kit (that has head-phones!) running update: i did two 5.5 mile runs while in florida and one lap-work out with my brother (one of the highlights from my christmas... the time with brother not the run) this past saturday, i started my training group for a half-marathon in april benefiting world vision's work in africa. pretty exciting. there was snow on the ground and it was 28 degrees. i ...

my last post of the year..... the last books i read. i'll have to go back and see if i read any of the books i had wanted to read this year and start my list for 2010..... supper of the lamb . this is my favorite book of the year. loved it. loved it. loved it. husband gave it to me for my birthday and it took me the fall to finish it. it is the most unconventional cookbook i have encountered. it is some recipes, some theology, some hospitality, some fun. he is a home cook, lover of food, and episcopalian priest. he tells the story of how to cook with some recipe entwined. some of it is just about the goodness of god's creation and sharing it with others. i highly recommend it for anyone, even if you don't think you like to cook. the hunger games . i have never been shy about my willingness to read just about anything. someone gave me this YOUNG ADULT fiction...... i devoured it. there is a sequel and i am plagued with the idea that my library may not have it and i ma...

first, snow fall. walking to church..... walking to pizza for lunch. birthday boy's choice. then, lessons and carols. finally, cake! and there you have a three-year-old birthday. by the way, when i showed him the cake this morning..... exact words: "what is that?"

day 19: activity. chuck e. cheese (birthday boy got to pick outing - birthday is tomorrow) mommy's activity: make birthday cake. (funny thing about my boys wanting superhero cakes - they don't really know who spiderman (peanut's 4th b-day) and batman are.... i mean, they do have those jammies, but they have never seen a show, read a book, or had an action figure for either of these guys... and yet, that is the cake they wanted). so be it. pics of the birthday boy tomorrow!

day 17: ornament craft someone had to make the girl for sweet pea. day 18: paper mache! fun with drippy glue and tissue paper! in my attempt at hand-made gifts.....mommy's sewing time. sneak peak..... won't reveal until after christmas.

day 15: practical activity. pick up friend from airport. day 16: adventure in the city. first... grand central station. laser light shown on the ceiling. toy train exhibit at transit store. then, saks fifth avenue's window display. finally, rockefeller christmas tree. fun christmas things in new york city. maybe next we can hit saks & macy's windows.... but not this year. this morning's run was cold! stef.... running over the weekend without you was terrible. at least i had you this morning in the 27 degree weather to commiserate about the hill...... one day we will get to the top and realize that we talked the whole way. it was not today but.... one day!

peanut: i'm going to eat you up. little bit: no, you can't. p: yes, i can.... yum. i'm eating you. lb: NO .... i won't know when to put on my jammies if i'm inside your tummy. p: but i'm going to eat you. lb: NO .... jammies are for the outside. i dont' want to be in your tummy. p: but i'm going to eat you. lb: MOM ... i don't want to get eat... for real. i'm not sure i understand the logic about the jammies but it made sense to him) day 10: just playing with glitter glue. little bit had a cold and was less than enthusiastic. day 11: make snack for party. YUM!!!we call it puppy chow but i have seen it called muddy buddies. day 12: bake cookies. day 13: decorate and eat cookies with out neighbors.... our annual block cookie decorating party. (an attempt to get to know our neighbors) ps. my computer is on the fritz. it would not even start up on sunday.... argh!!! so... limited creative posting ability. :(