am i really a runner?

as i pound the pavement this morning with savannah leading (or dragging) me on, i consider again that terminology of "runner." am i one? i mean it is 6:45AM on a saturday morning, i was out the three previous nights, i am tired, yet here i am doing 7 miles on a cloudy, chilly morning (40 degrees). so it was just me and savannah after a hard week. jesus was very kind to me this week as i struggled with my loneliness, my sadness, and my stubbornness. he was kind to meet me in all of it. he was a gracious father who loved this wounded child. this is part of what i was thinking about as i ran this morning - the comfort of god that was very real to me this week. to compliment my own struggle was the great joy and anticipation of a friend's potential adoption going through this very weekend. god truly does have perfect timing and i am so apt to forget that or even trivialize it. how small of me & how big is He! i also thought about my sister's wedding that is in two weeks. it will be a celebration of her wedding but it also gives me the opportunity to marvel at what a gift my own marriage has been. marriage is hard - it does not fix whatever is lacking in me; it does not fix my struggles; it more often intensifies my sin and the consequences of them - but for it i am thankful. i have been so grateful for my running partners this week as they helped me recover from a hard race but also a hard situation; how much more helpful has john been this week as he helps me recover in even deeper ways mostly because he takes me back to jesus. so, today's run was not about the camaraderie that i have grown to love or the need to have accountability in getting back out there, but the need to be reminded of how big i believe god to be and how much he cares about the details of my life - even when i am simply trying to be a runner. "call to me and i will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know." -jeremiah 33:3