hormones, right?!

so my mom left this morning - early....thankfully because that meant that i was still too groggy to fully cry uncontrollably. but then john left for work and left me with both boys all by myself and i teared up again. i cried all morning until i convienced myself that we could make it to the YMCA for their open play space. am i sad, overwhelmed, scared? yup! all of the above. can i really parent micah - who is testing every boundary that he has - and figure out a newborn all at the same time? i'm not sure about this whole two kids thing. how do you feed one lunch, nurse the other, and pee at the same time? magic - the lord's grace.....i'm counting on that. and at what point is merely surviving missing the point of the whole thing....how do i relish each moment with these two amazing boys and not begrudge the fact that it is hard or that it feels impossible or that i am tired? i do i love it & be thankful that i am part of creation? oh lord, meet me where i am & make me more like you!

but, my mother-in-law comes on saturday.... phew! i think i can make it that long on my own.

Comments

patti said…
You can do it! You can do it! I know you can!! It will be okay, I promise! Jesus will show up! And get this one....even when we cant do it or dont do it well...they turn out okay anyway due to God's grace! It is okay!! MUAH!
12:28 PM EST
Anonymous said…
The secret is you don't. There is no requirement to "cherish" the moments of Asher's life just because he is "new". The truth is he is the 2nd Child and you are over worked. Just continue to focus on Micah and Asher will work himself out. Isn't that what Mom did with Lu? I figure Asher will develop the "middle child syndrome" anyways, so might as well give him something to complain about. Love you, Bud
9:20 PM EST
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

happy halloween

Image
ninja with his sister after his class party okay, is she a teenager?? we only made it about 5 minutes before the wig was tossed.  zombie soccer player, ninja, and rapunzel. our cul-de-sac!! trick or treating with friends was SO fun!!! best year ever. (maybe because we didn't have a stroller and didn't have to carry anyone!!)
Read more

and we will be out numbered....

as of monday, i am through my first trimester with sweet baby #3. the sweet children will out number the adults come the beginning of march. as john likes to comment about my day to day coping skills, "her body is betraying her" as i adjust to pregnancy and surviving with two small children. i still can't find our flash drive to upload pictures....i'll work on it. it requires clearing off the computer desk which exists in the middle of the living room due to the plaster/drywall work being done to patch up the hole from the toilet leak. supposedly the new hardwood floors are supposed to arrive this week.....which means we could potentially move out of the office and back into our bedroom in a couple of weeks!!! the small pleasures in life!
Read more

more tidbits

i find it interesting....... .......how the two boys are in sync already. apparently we had not weathered the worst of operation big boy-no paci....he cried for almost an hour. what we thought would be an early bedtime was not....then asher (who was supposed to sleep until 2) woke up at midnight only to be followed by big brother 10 minutes later "scared." .......how 20 & 30 years olds (including myself) walk around the locker room delicately covered up by the towel that is slightly too small to cover my rumpus..... and yet the 50 & 60 years old strut around with no shame. nora ephron claims that the things that we things we hate about out bodies in our 20s will be the things we long for in our 50s. funny how that works...maybe i'll lose my abandon and sit in the sauna naked as a jaybird..... naw!!! .......how fun sitting on the kitchen counter while daddy cooks is for a two year old. .......how much i want to cut my hair. .......how excited i am to have gott...
Read more