one more complaint

okay, i have to complain about one more thing related to the zach braff movie from friday night. casey affleck - who i have loved in many a movie - played a character who expressed what i think may be a common fallacy regarding parenthood. he and his wife, in the movie, were struggling in their relationship and decided to have a child in the hopes that it would draw them closer. BAH!!! of course the whole movie bugged me, but this really bugged me cuz i think it is a misconception about why people have kids. i didn't have kids because it was going to draw me closer to my husband - which i think the couple in the movie found out - because in between dirty diapers, disciplining, playdates, and baby food what you find it that it takes a lot of work to stay connected. i had a total melt down about 8 months into my pregnancy with micah because i realized how much of our marriage was going to change and i felt like we had just hit a really good rhythm of communication & life. i think i felt that again with asher because i had hit a rhythm in my parenting with micah, my running, and my marriage. to weather the change takes commitment to talk about more than just the laundry list of what you did that day and talk about things that matter.... for me it is about asking what he is learning, what is he struggling with, how can i be praying more specifically for him, what was encouraging/hard about your day....do i do a good job of this - no.... but i have to remember to try. now with a second baby it will again be a process of figuring out how to find each other in the midst of parenting because it is easy to just be parents and stop be spouses. one wise woman told me that the best thing i could do for my children was to love their father well. the hope is that micah & asher feel more secure in their universe because their foundation of life is based on a marriage that really tries to work....is not perfect, but actually struggles to fight for the long haul, enjoy each other, & glorify god in the process. okay - enough babbling..... season premier of 24 is tonight. i think we'll give a chance....with low expectations.